Im going to
go slightly out of order with this post right now because I’ve spent the last
few days just reflecting on everything that has led me to this point in
life....on the brink of cultivating a life-long relationship with my newfound siblings....I
can’t help, but to think of God’s timing. Why now? Why these people? What about
now says I’m ready or their ready, but before they weren’t ready?
The saying is so true that says God does things in his own
way, in his own time....has he kept the secret about my family from me for all
this time because he was trying to keep me from something that was going to
harm me? Have I beaten down a door that was meant to be closed?
Insecurity...fear....uncertainty....flood my thoughts....all
in the midst of joy...happiness...excitement....literally I have had fluctuations
of all of these emotions and yet....I still trust God.
My prayer daily is: Lord, as I stand on the edge of enlightenment
on who I am and who my family is...guide each and every step. Clear my path
from those that would hope to deter, distract, or delay me from unraveling the
secrets of the past. Only allow me to see what you see fit and block anything
in my path that may corrupt or alter the true vision you want me to see. Give
me peace in my insecurities, give me strength in my weakness, and give me
determination when handicaps confront me. And although I know you already
are...just be everything I need....give me peace...give me peace...give me
peace. And when my mind begins to put me in a horrible state of mind...remind
me that it always has and always will be in your hands!!!!!!
Our courses are preordained to us... who we are SUPPOSED to be was written long before we are born. Certain incidences takes us away from our path OR moves us further along it. Our lives are a bunch of dominoes connected to other dominoes (people's lives). I think that the reason why God allowed You this time of revelation is because You are mentally and spiritually equipped to handle it and move along Your path in a productive way. What if You were a child with this knowledge still growing emotionally, mentally and spiritually? Unable to comprehend your emotions. As children, we act out on our emotions more than we act on anything else. We fall and hurt ourselves we cry, maybe run to mommy to kiss the pain away we don't know or think that we need to clean the wound to reduce possible infection. We pick at the scab because it's itchy, we don't think that the scab is a barrier to heal the wound and protect it from infections. Your course of life IS to help people, to become a healer to achieve and become a pioneer for those waiting to follow behind you. What if you had known earlier on? Would it have changed your course and in turn cause a domino affect and change the course of those who have been inspired by You and in turn change the course of those that were inspired by them and so forth and so on. Also, our course in life are never for us, they are for others as well. We see such things happen everyday ... We see every day young people who are so intelligent and creative not following the OBVIOUS path lain out for them. It's not just that the environment they live in has stopped them most time it's because the domino affect that was supposed to guide them on there path changed became the domino affect that deterred them from thinking they can have a future. Now i am rambling.. and i think You get the jist of what i am saying. Peace Blessing and Prayers to You.
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